17 December 2023

Never dreamed of living this long or of any other length.  Just thought of it as if I knew that there were still things for me to do on this earth.  What?  Do not know.  Mostly all my life there have been little things that occurred to me to do that were insignificant in the long range according to my limited ability to discern, but seemed to be nice to do to make a small difference in the lives of others as well as myself.  As these most recent days go by, I recall incidences where others have stolen items or items have been given away or have been left behind.  Seeing photos of life over the past years that I have taken with my phone camera, I wonder what happened to this item or that one.  Some I just do not know.  However, it has occurred to me that I have been 6 degrees of relationship from quite a few people! 

Finally all dressed for the day and catching up on some things before resuming decorations for Christmas.  The tree is ready for lights!  So ...

Well, resting now after doing some morning chores, I will put the lights on the tree after a short rest.  I wonder at what has hapened to people all over the world.  Choosing violence rather than allowing life to proceed.  Blaming and finger pointing at the other as always being the cause.  It is not so.  The responsibility lies on both flanks of the ever unending wars popping out all over and now the observance and actual admittance of the cyber wars in which the lies are labeled misinformation - this a lie in itself.  The idea is to trick people into believing something so that they will make choices that favor disruption and destruction thinking otherwise???  Sleepwalking into death and disaster? Making selections that lead to further destruction?  Supporting the enemy in ways that remain hidden to most of the world??  Protecting oneself from the consequences???  Consequences that mean imprisonment have been supported and chosen by leaders who know of their guilt but proceed in different but similar ways to avoid a judgment of guilty???  Legalese becoming so abstract and often guided by fear since threats eminate from sources unkown as well as those identified.  Hate being promulgated as a method of defense since there are too many really very crazy ones out there who will procede to harm others as if commanded.

Ah well, I wish that I had the means to end that kind of behaviour, but I know that I do not.

14 January 2023

 It is a grey day so far, but my list of things to do is ongoing and I have almost completed them for this day.  I have much to do with things written, but also organizing some things that have gotten out of hand with all the tricks played on me with programs that I do not yet know how to control in a fashion that makes items easier to find.  Surely the advent of things thrust upon me due to the use of one program must not require so much of my time and energy to keep in proportions that fit into my devices in ways that they do not consume all the space to keep and then use them.

This is not to mention the things I have yet to learn how to use nor do I dare to fuss about the major improvements in IT that work to my advantage and that help me to connect with so many people that I have met over the years.  Also there is the connection via some programs and much of the TV we watch to know about much that is happening in the world.  There are ongoing improvements that are so beneficial to people with limited vision and even limited control of fingers moving over keys on a keyboard.  Taking dictation and reading back to me what I have written are treats that I can use when my eyes are ready to look away from the screen for a while and my fingers cannot type fast enough!  Yeah!  And I make such good use of Audio Books as well as the ability some of my devices have used to read an ebook to me.  That is one trick I have yet to master as I have so many e-books on file and yet find that I have mastered the method of maintaining a steady flow of the content! 

The amazing thing that has come to my attention today is this business of autism and its causes.  Pro and anti vaxers have an ongoing battle that ignores so much and that is filled with what I will call "siders".  No matter what the statistical data reveal, many of the anti vaxers just argue against and pay no attention to anything other than fiercely defending their position regardless of any clear evidence that autism is caused by things such as the measles vaccine.  I can attest to one case in which the passing on of measles did actually cause lifelong harm to a child that was still in vitro.  I am sad to this day.

The need to blame and support positions without examining them is in full blown use these days and not only is supportive of lies, but foments hate and vile behavior.  It is as if the world has gone berserk.  The violence of one person against another is sad, but more terrible is the assault of one country against another or one group within a country fighting for a control that is irrational and deadly.

The use of religion as a rational for killing others has long outgrown its viability as well.  People of all the faiths I know of have used their beliefs to kill others singly or in vast groups.  For instance, I have learned that I have ancestors from the Loire Valley in France.  The migration of those who were chased out of the region due to not being Roman Catholic led to the eventual residence of my ancestors in the United States!  But it is not just that religious group that chose persecution in order to force belief.  Historically and currently there is a thin excuse - I say thin because it is just that - because leaders of the same religious group expose themselves daily by supporting actions that clearly belie their basic beliefs in so many ways.

All of this to say that lack of belief offers no solace either.  One can indeed find that the solidity of belief lies in what is found in all of the variations of religion that are as yet known to the majority of human beings.  It is straying from those solid foundations that causes people to excuse themselves for their violent behavior and their ordering more of it through their need to control and dominate both land and people who have found ways to live peaceably with one another.  Still, they go on and on.  It is like the song said, "When will we ever learn?"

Later in this day I go into the living room where the TV is showing pictures of explosions in NATO countries.

6 Jan 2023

This morning I am counting my blessings. I found a hint that tells me my ancestry goes back to France to the Loire Valley. It is fascinating.  How did I get to this point in my life?

When I first went to the university I was told that I could not be an archaeologist or an anthropologist because I was a female, because there are no jobs in the future in that field.  That was not true. I was told I could be either a nurse or school teacher. I wasn’t fond of the ideas that I understood about nursing. Like blood? I then decided to be a teacher. This was after spending one year at Ranger Junior College where I majored in music because I had a band scholarship.  That was a blessing. I was only 16 and it was not likely that we had enough money for me to go to a university education. My family moved from Brady to Austin, Texas, and - oh my, maybe that’s not correct. Oh, they moved to Killeen, Texas, because of my father’s work at what was then called Camp Hood. I found a way to get there from Ranger, Texas, by bus, because I was very homesick and eventually I transferred to the University of Texas. It was there that I was told I would have to learn to play the oboe all over again because I had been doing it wrong.  I changed my major and started my long career as a teacher.  Elementary education was a wonderful field for me because I loved children. 

I taught in El Paso for many years before moving to San Antonio where I also taught elementary school and middle school before I became a counselor for disadvantaged students at San Antonio  College. 

(This story is to be continued as the days succeed one another while that aggression against Ukraine continues and threatens our very existence with the possibilities of escalation.)

8 January 2023

It is still going on.  That war next door to us.  The duplicity and aggressiveness endanger the whole world and at the same time destroy the country that used to be Russia with ambitions to be a part of the free world, maybe even a member nation of Europe.  That desire is lost to many generations to come as it now stands.  It was Peter the Great as I recall that had the desire to be in good relationship - that at the very least.  I could look it up but...

This Sunday morning I am in good progress with my usual never to be delayed chores and waiting to show Eugeniu the picture online of the kind of bacon I would like for him to get when he goes to Metro today to buy tires for the car.  He told me that the ones we have now are 8 years old!  My how time goes by so quickly that things grow and become older in what seems such a short time!

I have this chore today to communicate with BlueCross/Blue Shield again.  Since November they have totally ruined my account with them.  Now they are sending my payment to an address that is a mystery to me because I cannot even see it much less change it to the correct address so that they will not mail checks to some "mystery to me place."  I do NOT know how to do what must be done and they have locked me out and combined my account with that of a stranger named John MAC who has had a prostate problem.  I would laugh at that if it were not a seemingly unsolvable problem.

10 January 2023

Watching out the window for Sameday to bring my most recent order.  Shopping online is such a convenience for me especially now that driving is not especially safe for me to do.  Jerky motions notwithstanding, vision is getting blurry and my not wishing to have to dodge the reckless drivers!

Yesterday was a full and busy day that ended in another long distance call to BC/BS.  I finally got to speak with a person who paid attention to the problem without brushing me off to wait on Hold for 15 minutes or saying that this is not in their realm of possibilities.  Blessings are wished on that one who did pay attention and who finally got to the person who can try to figure it out.  After waiting for a call basck, I got an email telling me that they would try to sort it out and find out what happened and fix it.  I have high hopes that at least they can see my correct address and that the message about my payment means that the check being mailed will get here rather than to some strange place I have never lived.  Modern technology is amazing now that I can do all these things online or through calls on my iPhone.  The fact that I can deposit the checks via my app on the phone is absolutely astonishing!   

I slept until 10 a.m. this morning - which is a thing I have not done since my early years of not being a morning person to now when I am usually more morning than evening!

Oh! yesterday I spent my energy cooking.  I made snack muffins which really needed a mini muffin pan which is now on my list to order.  Then I made a special tomato sauce recipe for dipping.  Both are tasty!  There are a few more recipes to make from that list that I get from Nicole whose cookbooks are online and very tempting to use.  Mostly I am not successful with them as the ingredients here are enough different to make the outcome unreliable.  My recipe for our morning biscuits is still the best GF recipe that I have.

Now trying to sort out the changes these programs make by saving everything to Google Drive????  Why? To make money?  To waste my time???  I am happy at the advances, but despair of the changes they make without asking me...